he press kit for Anne M. Fletcher's new book, "Sober for Good" (Houghton-Mifflin, $25), states, "Sometimes one book can make a difference." After reading the book, I could not agree more strongly.

In it, Ms. Fletcher, a health and medical writer and a former problem drinker, describes the recoveries of 222 men and women who had seriously abused alcohol. Some had done so for decades but had been sober for five or more years, a point where relapse is highly unlikely, studies suggest. For two-thirds of the group that she calls "masters" over alcohol, sobriety has lasted at least a decade.

But the fact that hundreds of former abusers of alcohol are now sober is not what makes this book special. What sets it apart is her in-depth descriptions of the routes to sobriety taken by those she questioned and the many myths about alcohol recovery that they expose. In this book, there is a path to recovery for virtually everyone, including those who have tried repeatedly to escape the yoke of alcohol and those who believe they can never give up drinking.

MYTH If you want to get sober and stay sober, you must join Alcoholics Anonymous and follow its 12-step program.

FACT Although Alcoholics Anonymous has helped millions, more than half the people who completed Ms. Fletcher's seven-page questionnaire about their drinking problems and how they resolved them said they did so without A.A. Many quit on their own. Others sought the help of therapists, especially those who practice cognitive-behavioral therapy, which helps people recognize their self-defeating thoughts and change their behavior. Others who preferred a group approach but found A.A. unsuited to their beliefs joined other groups, like Women for Sobriety and Smart Recovery, in which participants take responsibility for their drinking.

Herb N., 42, an alcohol abuser since age 17 who quit 13 years ago, said: "The 12 steps wanted me to believe in a `higher power' and admit that I was powerless over alcohol and drugs. But I knew that I wasn't. I wanted to learn how to fight my addiction, not give in and pray to a God I didn't believe in to relieve my suffering."

Rosa L., who acknowledged the value of A.A. for the many people it had helped, nonetheless said, "I am also very angry at the recovery community and treatment centers for not allowing space for other programs and for not telling their clients about other approaches." Rosa has been sober for 10 years with the help of Women for Sobriety, which emphasizes competence and strength, not powerlessness over alcohol.

While 97 of those surveyed achieved sobriety through A.A., 56 percent used nontraditional methods, including 25 people who quit on their own. And those who have remained sober for a decade or longer were equally divided between A.A. members and those who used of unconventional approaches, Ms. Fletcher reported.

Nearly 14 million Americans abuse alcohol, but just one in 10 receives treatment. Of those who join A.A., fewer than 10 percent are still members after a year. Offering other roads to recovery is likely to bring more people into treatment and foster lasting sobriety. As Rick N., sober for 21 years, put it, "There are probably as many ways to defeat alcohol problems as there are people who want to recover. The more choices we can offer, the more people can be helped."

MYTH You have to admit to being an alcoholic to recover.

FACT The word "alcoholic" threatens many people and prompts them to avoid seeking help, Ms. Fletcher wrote. Many of the masters conquered their drinking problems without ever seeing themselves as "alcoholics" with a "disease." Their stories also expose another myth: that alcohol abusers must "hit bottom" before they can recover. Many took control of their drinking before reaching desperate straits, for example, while their marriages were threatened but still intact or before they lost their jobs but knew that their performance was seriously suffering.

Ms. Fletcher concluded, "While the amount of alcohol and the regularity of drinking certainly provide important clues that something is amiss, the masters' stories suggest that their awakening had more to do with recognizing what drinking was doing to them and those around them."

As Karen M., sober for 14 years, put it, "It's not so much the frequency of drinking but how it affects your life when you do."

For example, Liz B. typically drank four or five glasses of wine a day, "a far cry from stereotypical `alcoholic' drinking," Ms. Fletcher reported. But Liz said she was "a mean drunk" who was losing the respect of her husband, picking fights over trivial matters, and she feared the effects of her drinking on her young sons.

In another example, Jackie D. said, "I had attributed all my problems in life to other things: trauma, the world's not fair, money. Suddenly it became crystal-clear that if I took alcohol away, I could handle all the other stuff."

MYTH Recovery is best handled, as A.A. puts it, "one day at a time."

FACT Many who achieved lasting sobriety, including some members of A.A., said they did so by making a lifetime commitment to changing their relationship with alcohol.

As Richard D., who abused alcohol for eight years, said at age 47 after seven years of sobriety: "I have made a conscious choice that I will remain alcohol-free for the rest of my life." He added that he was aware of the allure of alcohol, but that nothing could touch or compare with living a sober life."

Others Ms. Fletcher questioned made statements like "I told myself I would not drink again," "I put the cork in the bottle," "I accepted that I couldn't handle alcohol," and "I said, `That's it, I quit.' "

MYTH A former alcohol abuser is one drink away from drunk.

FACT While most of the masters say they have chosen total abstinence as their route to lasting sobriety, a few have found that they can drink moderately, and about a dozen have been able to handle small amounts of alcohol in occasional situations, like weddings or with friends who don't abuse alcohol. "This select group of masters is living proof that at least for some people, one drink does not a drunk make," Ms. Fletcher wrote.

Still, a return to moderate drinking is an option for only a few. Maintaining control of an alcohol problem can be challenging for those who continue to drink even rarely.

Lorraine Collins, a psychologist and addiction specialist in Buffalo, N.Y., explained: "Restrained drinkers have to put a fair amount of effort into controlling their drinking and/or fighting the urge to drink. In contrast, a true social drinker is someone for whom alcohol presents little or no issue. Certain former problem drinkers who choose to drink again achieve a peace with alcohol, and they don't have to worry about it anymore."

Next week: Maintaining sobriety and coping with life without alcohol.

s with almost all troublesome behaviors that need changing — be it losing weight, stopping smoking or starting to exercise — the trick in overcoming alcohol abuse is not so much in the start-up as in the continuation. It sometimes takes years and many failed attempts before a problem drinker can finally achieve lasting sobriety.

But the process can be greatly aided and often shortened by tips on coping with life's challenges without resorting to alcohol from people who have overcome serious drinking problems. In her newly published book, "Sober for Good" (Houghton-Mifflin, $25), Anne M. Fletcher describes what many of the 222 former abusive drinkers she calls "masters" have learned about dealing with the sturm und drang of life without using alcohol to smooth the way.

Many admitted that early into sobriety, their greatest difficulty was the absence of alcohol to help "escape, hide or get momentary relief from painful situations, troubles and feelings," Ms. Fletcher wrote. "If someone stops drinking and doesn't fill the void left by alcohol's absence, the result is that he or she will likely start drinking again."

What Works

The masters' first task was learning to separate alcohol from feelings and problems. As Frank L. put it, "Drinking will not make any problem easier to solve nor any outcome better than it is."

Instead of masking emotions with alcohol, the masters learned to recognize what they were feeling — whether it was fear, sadness, anger or happiness — and to allow themselves to experience it, express it and deal with it in a healthier way, for example, by talking or writing about it or going off by themselves and yelling or crying. They also learned that few feelings are long lasting — wait a bit and they go away — and that it is all right to be in a bad mood for a while.

Quite a few of the masters found that when alcohol no longer served as an emotional mask, they needed professional treatment for depression, anxiety or relationship issues that might have fed their drinking problems. Two-thirds of the masters indicated that they had benefited from counseling or therapy in addition to participating in recovery groups.

Anger was a particularly troublesome emotion for the former drinkers, many of whom had to learn to deal with their anger more directly and effectively, for example, by speaking up to the appropriate person and by handling anger before it built to explosive levels. Others use indirect techniques like punching pillows, taking brisk walks or hot baths, writing about the problems or even lying down and letting the anger wash over them and then taking naps.

The many known stress-reduction methods — like meditation, exercise, prayer and deep breathing — also helped many. Some found that changing a stressful job situation — getting a new one or changing an old one — was important in maintaining sobriety.

Celebrations and happy feelings can also be problems for people trying to enjoy them without drinking. Clare J. said she reminded herself that "the quickest way to spoil the moment is to take a drink." Others do rewarding activities like buying flowers, books or records; getting massages; singing and jumping for joy; trying new restaurants, or doing nice things for others.

Even more difficult are social situations where alcohol is an integral part. Ms. Fletcher wrote, "The masters' No. 1 answer for how they now handle parties, weddings, business dinners and traveling is to drink some sort of nonalcoholic beverage."

One of my friends goes to parties with her own nonalcoholic beer. Another requests a soft drink. A third drinks water. A few simply decline invitations to cocktail parties and other events where consuming alcohol is the featured event.

Duane L. said: "I get something nonalcoholic and keep it full. If all else fails, I tell people I'm driving." Or nondrinkers can say that they are taking medicine that does not mix with alcohol or that they are allergic to alcohol. Perhaps the simplist response to a drink pusher is "no thanks" or "thanks, but I don't drink."

About a quarter of the masters decided they had to abandon drinking buddies or find new friends who did not abuse alcohol.

In dealing with alcohol at home, Ms. Fletcher believes that when sobriety is new, it is easier for most people if their live-in companions do not drink, give up alcohol for a while or drink only in the sober person's absence. But almost half the masters keep alcohol in their homes for housemates or guests, and 40 percent said they lived with one or more persons who drank.

Joy Without Alcohol

Ms. Fletcher found that the masters she interviewed "seem joyful about the richness and fullness of their sober lives: they get high on life without abusing alcohol and seek fulfillment and pleasure in its absence."

As their stories unfolded, most masters revealed that they had built lives that had no room for alcohol. They have filled their lives with new sources of gratification and meaningful endeavors, among them reading, pursuing hobbies and the arts, traveling, enjoying nature and the outdoors, eating well and engaging in fitness activities.

For example, Heather F. now exercises at the time of day that she used to start drinking. Marisa S. said she "learned to revel in small pleasures each day" like gardening, having brunch with friends, taking walks, enjoying sunsets, admiring flowers, reading or being silly with her husband. Becky H. said she wove "a tapestry of sobriety: I notice things, positive things, and revel in them — a raindrop sliding down a leaf, my baby's giggle, the cat's paws twitching in her sleep, the smell of the gardenia."

A favorite pleasure-enhancing activity of the masters is helping others through volunteer work, community service or involvement in civic organizations.

Some even switched careers to ones that help others. Dorothy W., for example, gave up a law practice and became a clinical social worker and pastoral counselor. Two- thirds of the masters said they sought greater career satisfaction by improving their job situations or furthering their educations.

Then, there is the matter of improving and enjoying relationships. More than 90 percent of the masters said their relationships with others improved after they stopped drinking; they became more open, more honest, deeper and more trusting. More than half the masters listed enjoying or appreciating family or friends as one of the top three ways of seeking pleasure.

Fixing family relationships that were seriously injured by alcohol abuse can often be challenging, and Ms. Fletcher pointed out, "It is not uncommon for marriages and families to break up within the first year or two of sobriety."

But couple or family counseling, communication classes, personal improvement seminars and attending recovery meetings together have proved helpful to many.